Poem 3-What to do with the Conspirators

You argue for a fair trial, senators.

For this is the just solution.

But why be just when we can be entertained?!

Let us present to the Roman people the funeral games of Caesar

With gladiatorial games featuring...the conspirators!!!!

Since the liberators so enjoy using their swords,

Let them use their swords again, only now against each other.

Let us kill two birds with one stone-

Present the public with games for the fallen and punishment for the assassins!

Their punishments will range from death to embarrassment

(for I wouldn't allow any Brutus to set forth as a gladiator without a gladiatorial costume!)

Efficiency is the key, o senators.

So stop all your debating and follow the musings of your Catullus.